Time Lost in the Morning

I've been lost the important one in this morning and today It was third time awake so lately. I didn't know how big my regret to Allah, It came bad habbit after I got getting periode (menstruation for women), the bad news I have difficulty to overcome the laziness for recently. I hope for "Allah please help me to explore more my abbility and so that I am not a losser than ".

Allah gave me more than enough, I have perfectly five senses and alot of people with a lacking can explore their capability. And why not, I guess I can do the same. Complately, I believe I can do the best like which they do more creativity. Now days, I've full depress, on my last year with everything to reach my graduation with all about the obigation to full fill.

This Saturday was so silent, because there no one except me in my home, I just alone without money. And hard to think looking for the problem solving how to pay the excreton such as installment, debt, regularly for semester. To be one of student who getting scholarship in my campuss (State University in Semarang) to me, It has very lucky, I can not imagine how I can pass my day in campuss until now in my 3th year with small income like my family.

If didn't want to be mediocre, must be an unusual one and uniquely in others. And I must be ready to walk alone because I'm different and unique. Live near Kota Lama, made me improving my taste with something old school thing. My appearance related with my passion in taste too. In other hands. In other hand I must be different mindset to look around any problems in my life. Every problems strike on mine who just made me more and more strength to growth and evolve.

Allah please give me a strength than before to faced everything with pleasure. Amin amin ya robal alamin

Too Late When The First day Exam- June 1st 2013

Your home was far away from your campuss, so what you might do? 

Maight be that was many time arrived too late to campuss, my home is about 15 Kms far away from my campuss. So that made me went earlier, if didn't want late. In first year its better than in the last semester I have, lately I felt so worried with the far away even it just 30 minute left in the road with my preaty motor cycle. And what happen? I had too late more than 30 minute left after the exercise  called UAS, and  I don't belief that. I felt so bad, after that faced of my parents rised up how can I treasonable with them.

That was because of it very important exercise in my education to get degree of bachelor in six semester, apparently I had lost my enthusiastic to faced challenge in my live. I have felt not passionately when drove my ride and left 30 minute to get on the class without late. And the worst I do not belief  in mine, I woke up too late when the fist examination would be held, for the first time and the last time I had absent.

And I feel so frustrated in that time, yesterday before that day I had studied hard until 2 am. After that I woke up at 8 am, but the worst your exam will be held on 8 am and  between your home and campus need 30 minute. So, It was totally my fail. I must lie with all of my friends and my lecture.

(I'm very sorry for that)

Thank's to My lecture he is so kindly, he give us (me and my friend) the 2nd chance to fill the absent and get exclusive exam. Even I can f, but I did not want again. No way! I hope that was the last time I had.

I do not care with something was grey

I've just tried to closed my eyes around my self

I do not understand everything that was still grey
how was my self can ignored every man who tried to giving a little bit attention
because, I do not really about all of him

but I've just thinked being more posstive
I haven't time to think about another
I love my life & I love my family much more before
how was my self so different with anyone because of I have different  perception

I've just women that really passionately with "LIVE be BETTER"
I want to improved and grow up

I loved to be different
And I tried to get "my excellent"

Somewhere

Do you think there might be a second place?

Not My parents home but somewhere else that one day I might find it?
Suddenly, I'm to worry imaging tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and my future

Sometimes I've thinked my live is  more better that anyone of us who lived in suburb of Semarang
Most people who didn't have chance to get education till colledge
Most people just think how to earn money to covered daily needed
With mediocre sallary, most of us just employee industry of factory & middle low education
That's way most people here, can not give good quality in education for their children
The cildren just growth by their self without basic education from her parents
Because, their parents having to worked all the day

But, There's something unique here
We can find any of us with different backgrounds middle-low
We grow and  grow here
Just this place where giving us the low price to buy foods
Just this place where traffic jam because of near rail train
Just this place where near district of Semarang
Just this place where mostly flood so that we just understanding
This place very famous with the flood area moreover entry rainy season

However the more and lack, I still want to have portion improved my origin place
Bismillah

Luruskan niatku ya allah, kuatkan tekadku
perkuat imanku bismillah

SL

Overcome The Laziness

Ternyata hari ini, susah juga untuk sholat dhuha meskipun sudah ada niat namun satu lagi yang tak ada, tidak adanya jiwa mencintai dari dalam, sehingga susah ketika di hari sabtu yang sedikit aktivitas tapi malah melupakan sholat sunnah yang sering dilakuka diwaktu biasa "ngampus".

Seolah-olah membuyarkan pandanganku tentang diriku aku tak mampu mengatur diriku, sepertinya semuanya terhalang oleh satu tebok besaar yang bernama rasa malas yang kian lama kian susah untuk mengendalikannya. Meski kadang aku menenag dan lebih banyaknya kalh.

Suatu ketika aku pernah membaca tuliasan Prof Ken Kawan Santoso, yang mengatakan pribadi tiap manusia memiliki rasa malas, sehingga perlu adanya hadiah untuk sesuatu hal yang dianggapnya susah untuk digapai atau susah untuk dilaukannya, dan diakhir cerita mereka ternyata mampu melakukannnya dan cukup baik. Maka perlu adanya hadiah untuk mengatakan pada diri kita "Setelah kita mampu melakukannya maka aku akan makan sepuasnya di Cafe atau semacamnya".

Pernah terbesit sebentar dikepalaku untuk melakukannya, namun suatu hal yang lain adalah rasa malas mencoba dan kurangnya rasa struggle tentu susah. Aku selalu kagum dengan mereka yang mampu keluar dari rasa malas, dan mampu untuk mengatakan "Good bye laziness". Tentunya semangat jiwa yang mampu bertahan ketika rasa malas mmenghigap perlu untuk dibangun dan diperkokoh. Untuk menjadikan bangsa ini lebih maju dan memiliki jiwa kerja yang kuat.

Just Give Me The Reason- Pink

Right from the start
You were a thief
You stole my heart
And Im your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren’t all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them

Now you’ve been talking in your sleep oh oh
Things you never say to me oh oh
Tell me that you’ve had enough
Of our love, our love

(Chorus)
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

It’s in the stars
It’s been written in the scars on our hearts
That we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

I’m sorry I don’t understand
Where all of this is coming from
I thought that we were fine
(Oh we had everything)
Your head is running wild again
My dear we still have everythin’
And it’s all in your mind
(Yeah but this is happenin’)

You’ve been havin’ real bad dreams oh oh
You used to lie so close to me oh oh
There’s nothing more than empty sheets
Between our love, our love
Oh our love, our love

(Chorus)
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

I never stopped
You’re still written in the scars on my heart
You’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Oh tear ducts and rust
Ill fix it for us
we’re collecting dust but our love is enough
You’re holding it in
You’re pouring a drink
No nothing is as bad as it seems
We’ll come clean

(Chorus)
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

It’s been written in the scars
It’s been written in the scars of our hearts
That we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

It’s benn written in the scars
It’s been written in the scars on our hearts
That we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
Oh we can learn to love again
Oh we can learn to love again oh oh
That we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love againJust Give Me The Reason- Pink

Starting to Campuss and Miss S.O

Monday 4th March 2013, will be starting activity on my Campuss to get new even-semester (semester genap), now I'm on 6th Semester, I got planning to get PKL & KKL this Semester, wooow Amazing!!! Ok, tomorrow i will get moning class at 7.30 am  in the first meeting, and of course i must get up earlier, now days I almost to be lazy, maybe Allah want improvement for my self to rebuild my daily like my activity in the morning because almost in the morning just pray subuh afterthat, I have continuing get sleep again. hahaha

I have just trying to be more aware with environment, my healty, and of course my appearence, because when I look my self in the mirror I get surprise that my face so scary when i get up in the morning, with bad hair and  worn-out faced (hahaha). Maybe I must more aware with my face again, I hope so, i could keep my willingness to get it more better and beautiful :))).

Don't you remember that i still steady with my beloved in Senior High Shool (Stop its forbidden!!! :-)), I think, if he just looked at me now, maybe he can escape, because I'm not interesting woman (I hope not). Okay!!! I just hopefully allah can give me the way-out about what i have felt to him, i just do not know why i still open-up his FB, TWitter to get more info and what happen with him.

(It was stupid thing that i have done if i miss him) --->> in this cased i really hate my self because i did not success manage my self to stop had feeling to him.

I wanna say Good Bye with My feeling to him but it so difficult, Seriously!!!