I do not care with something was grey

I've just tried to closed my eyes around my self

I do not understand everything that was still grey
how was my self can ignored every man who tried to giving a little bit attention
because, I do not really about all of him

but I've just thinked being more posstive
I haven't time to think about another
I love my life & I love my family much more before
how was my self so different with anyone because of I have different  perception

I've just women that really passionately with "LIVE be BETTER"
I want to improved and grow up

I loved to be different
And I tried to get "my excellent"

Somewhere

Do you think there might be a second place?

Not My parents home but somewhere else that one day I might find it?
Suddenly, I'm to worry imaging tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and my future

Sometimes I've thinked my live is  more better that anyone of us who lived in suburb of Semarang
Most people who didn't have chance to get education till colledge
Most people just think how to earn money to covered daily needed
With mediocre sallary, most of us just employee industry of factory & middle low education
That's way most people here, can not give good quality in education for their children
The cildren just growth by their self without basic education from her parents
Because, their parents having to worked all the day

But, There's something unique here
We can find any of us with different backgrounds middle-low
We grow and  grow here
Just this place where giving us the low price to buy foods
Just this place where traffic jam because of near rail train
Just this place where near district of Semarang
Just this place where mostly flood so that we just understanding
This place very famous with the flood area moreover entry rainy season

However the more and lack, I still want to have portion improved my origin place
Bismillah

Luruskan niatku ya allah, kuatkan tekadku
perkuat imanku bismillah

SL

Overcome The Laziness

Ternyata hari ini, susah juga untuk sholat dhuha meskipun sudah ada niat namun satu lagi yang tak ada, tidak adanya jiwa mencintai dari dalam, sehingga susah ketika di hari sabtu yang sedikit aktivitas tapi malah melupakan sholat sunnah yang sering dilakuka diwaktu biasa "ngampus".

Seolah-olah membuyarkan pandanganku tentang diriku aku tak mampu mengatur diriku, sepertinya semuanya terhalang oleh satu tebok besaar yang bernama rasa malas yang kian lama kian susah untuk mengendalikannya. Meski kadang aku menenag dan lebih banyaknya kalh.

Suatu ketika aku pernah membaca tuliasan Prof Ken Kawan Santoso, yang mengatakan pribadi tiap manusia memiliki rasa malas, sehingga perlu adanya hadiah untuk sesuatu hal yang dianggapnya susah untuk digapai atau susah untuk dilaukannya, dan diakhir cerita mereka ternyata mampu melakukannnya dan cukup baik. Maka perlu adanya hadiah untuk mengatakan pada diri kita "Setelah kita mampu melakukannya maka aku akan makan sepuasnya di Cafe atau semacamnya".

Pernah terbesit sebentar dikepalaku untuk melakukannya, namun suatu hal yang lain adalah rasa malas mencoba dan kurangnya rasa struggle tentu susah. Aku selalu kagum dengan mereka yang mampu keluar dari rasa malas, dan mampu untuk mengatakan "Good bye laziness". Tentunya semangat jiwa yang mampu bertahan ketika rasa malas mmenghigap perlu untuk dibangun dan diperkokoh. Untuk menjadikan bangsa ini lebih maju dan memiliki jiwa kerja yang kuat.

Just Give Me The Reason- Pink

Right from the start
You were a thief
You stole my heart
And Im your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren’t all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them

Now you’ve been talking in your sleep oh oh
Things you never say to me oh oh
Tell me that you’ve had enough
Of our love, our love

(Chorus)
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

It’s in the stars
It’s been written in the scars on our hearts
That we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

I’m sorry I don’t understand
Where all of this is coming from
I thought that we were fine
(Oh we had everything)
Your head is running wild again
My dear we still have everythin’
And it’s all in your mind
(Yeah but this is happenin’)

You’ve been havin’ real bad dreams oh oh
You used to lie so close to me oh oh
There’s nothing more than empty sheets
Between our love, our love
Oh our love, our love

(Chorus)
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

I never stopped
You’re still written in the scars on my heart
You’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Oh tear ducts and rust
Ill fix it for us
we’re collecting dust but our love is enough
You’re holding it in
You’re pouring a drink
No nothing is as bad as it seems
We’ll come clean

(Chorus)
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

It’s been written in the scars
It’s been written in the scars of our hearts
That we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

It’s benn written in the scars
It’s been written in the scars on our hearts
That we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
Oh we can learn to love again
Oh we can learn to love again oh oh
That we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love againJust Give Me The Reason- Pink

Starting to Campuss and Miss S.O

Monday 4th March 2013, will be starting activity on my Campuss to get new even-semester (semester genap), now I'm on 6th Semester, I got planning to get PKL & KKL this Semester, wooow Amazing!!! Ok, tomorrow i will get moning class at 7.30 am  in the first meeting, and of course i must get up earlier, now days I almost to be lazy, maybe Allah want improvement for my self to rebuild my daily like my activity in the morning because almost in the morning just pray subuh afterthat, I have continuing get sleep again. hahaha

I have just trying to be more aware with environment, my healty, and of course my appearence, because when I look my self in the mirror I get surprise that my face so scary when i get up in the morning, with bad hair and  worn-out faced (hahaha). Maybe I must more aware with my face again, I hope so, i could keep my willingness to get it more better and beautiful :))).

Don't you remember that i still steady with my beloved in Senior High Shool (Stop its forbidden!!! :-)), I think, if he just looked at me now, maybe he can escape, because I'm not interesting woman (I hope not). Okay!!! I just hopefully allah can give me the way-out about what i have felt to him, i just do not know why i still open-up his FB, TWitter to get more info and what happen with him.

(It was stupid thing that i have done if i miss him) --->> in this cased i really hate my self because i did not success manage my self to stop had feeling to him.

I wanna say Good Bye with My feeling to him but it so difficult, Seriously!!!

Welcoming March Time to Get Ready

This Morning decided went to TPI Tambak Lorok, I looked for data and interview w/ fisherman who I asked will be guide on direct practice (PKL), PKL is one of subject in my Program Study "Pemanfaatan Sumber Daya Perikanan" with value 2 SKS (credit one semester). Directly, met w/ Pak Panjang (one of staff UPTD TPI Tamabak Lorok) He is a simple man, who have working for UPTD Tambak Lorok more than 30 years.

We had little bit talk about the history  who had guided TPI Tambak Lorok, namely Bapeda & KUD ( 70-2010) and KKP (2010- till now). Pak Panjang began a staff Tambak Lorok in 1972 - 2010 with sallary Rp 10.000,00 per day means that, his sallary for one month is about Rp 300.000,00. He is a staff w/ one other man (i justt don't know his name), I have talking with him more than 1 hour, He told me something that i do not know before he said to me.

KKP (Kementrian Kelautan dan Perikanan) Kota & Provinsi Semarang which organized UPTD TPI Tambak Lorok with directly leader Pak Nur Dwi Esto, but recently i just known the leader isn't graduated from Fisheries but different major, so he wasn't much know how to organized TPI. And the consequenced from that the accumulation jobs just on staff, He just come to observe TPI on the time period.

After that, I went to Pak Slamet and before that i bought  water melon for give a away, because i got planning to get interview with Pak Selamet who is informan will have related with my paper on my direct practice (PKL). After i got much question for him and his son and my Questioner fullfill, i got little bit nonsense (talking nothing) because people of java almost do that if we having to be a guess on other family.

Pak Selamet had five child, and he and his son to be a fisherman, but his live is under-middle, he is a java like me with friendly person, he and his family live in one house, in Tambak Mulyo near Tambak Lorok North Semarang. Environment Tambak Lorok is slum area near my house, with same problem flood, garbages, slum area and ROB (impact tidal range because near coastal area, but there is no mangrove there :( often problems with flood and ROB in rainy season).

This day I got more than interview but i hope i could someday having contribution for Fisheries & Marine world, we need expert to improve our environment to give more impact and to lift up the grade of fisherman, from under-middle to middle-high.

AMIIINNNN YA ROB...

Bengong Mlompong

Oh iya hari ini benar ya hari Juamat jadi besok hari sabtu, yaahh!!! kok cepet banget sih. gak siap (pasrah). Iya bener ya, mending ssedikit rileks, lupakan masalah yang ada, segera bersiap untuk memperbaiki hari ini dan besok dan besoknya lagi.

Hari ini ga tau kenap berat banget bangeet ya. Susah deh ngungkapinnya, soalnya kalo udah gini berarti rada berat jalan cerita hidup yang nulis, (perasaan juga biasa aja O_O hahahaha) cuman terkadang lebai. Maklum introvert jadi kalo kesenggol masalah bawaannya pengen fokus dan pada akhirnya jadi pesimis, soalnya cuman bisa diem dan gak ngapa-ngapain ( susah nih punya anak kyk gini __-__)

Kalo ada yang susah diomongin aja lah, kalo gak mudeng baru tanya ya!!. itu mungkin sepenggal kata bijak dari seorang, nah aku berharap ada yang bilang mirip gitu lah. Mau teriak bangeet kalo punya masalah tapi masalahnya rumah ane sempit dan deket banget sama rumah tetangga, jadi takut dikira GILA!!.

Ya mau gimana lagi, dari tadi cuman bisa bengong, liat lepi terus ngelamun. Kalo ada yang bilang terima nasib banget ya ini orang, (iya banget, harusnya ngapain kek, bersih-bersih rumah, nyuci pakaian, atau mau jungkir balik)

Tapi beneran Lho kalo emang lagi ada yang dipikirn emang aku bawaannya males, diem, ngelamun dan yang pasti muka jarang senyum kayak kearik tegang. Gak tau juga nih, apa-apa pengennya ngeluuh padahal juga udah untung bisa sampai sekarang. Eman-eman banget kan kalo mandeg (Nauzubillah!!!! amit-amit)

Stop aja dulu lah, masih absurd juga ya tulisan ini. Tetep semangat ajalah buat tulisan yang bisa bercerita ngalir apa adanya. Bukan ada apanya...